Appropriate Speech

APPROPRIATE SPEECH

Ephesians 4:29

 

So much of what we hear in everyday speech today, whether it’s in conversation, what we hear in music, or what we hear on TV or talk radio has a sound about it that doesn’t ring true to the Christian’s calling. There are so many four letter words and so much name calling these days. And in addition I am sure you have noticed all the belittling and backbiting. All too often, if we aren’t careful, those of us who call ourselves Christians can fall into the same patterns of speech we hear so often in the culture. The Bible has some helpful counsel regarding our speech, and we really need during these days to hear and heed what the Bible says about it.

Let’s look at only one verse: Ephesians 4:29. Often we confine ourselves to only one translation, but let’s consider it in several translations: the HCSB, the ESV, the NASB, and the NLT.

No foul language is to come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear. (Ephesians 4:29 HCSB)

“Foul language” typically brings to mind certain four letter words that no Christian should ever use; therefore, the HCSB suggests that Christians should avoid cussing.

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. (Ephesians 4:29 ESV)

The KJV says “let no corrupt communication proceed from your mouth,” so it agrees with the ESV. “No corrupting talk” is a little less clear than “no foul language,” but “corrupting talk” seems to suggest talk that could lead others into immoral or ungodly behavior.

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. (Ephesians 4:29 NASB)

The NIV similarly says “do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths.” “No unwholesome word” sounds as if Paul wants to make the point that our speech should never be anything less than God-honoring; therefore we should avoid saying anything that would in any way be questionable, inappropriate, or impure. So now we have yet a third possibility.

Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. (Ephesians 4:29 NLT)

The NLT agrees with the HCSB in its use of “foul.” However, it adds “abusive,” which suggests harsh, mean spirited words that attack a person’s character and tears down the person’s self-esteem.

So to summarize, we have four shades of meaning regarding what kind of speech we should avoid, although I don’t detect any difference regarding what type of speech we should employ. Did you notice that? All the translations agree that our speech should be encouraging. But since we have a bit of difference regarding what kind of speech to avoid, how do we go about clearing it up?

The first step should always be to pray. We can do more after we have prayed, but we really shouldn’t even try to do anything until we have first prayed. Why pray? We pray because God is our Father and when we have a need we should look to our Father to meet it. We are not independent of our heavenly Father, we are dependent on him. So let’s look first to him. We have a need to understand what he has revealed to us, so let’s look to him to provide help in interpreting it. I try to always stay in a prayerful state of mind as I read and study the Bible and when I work to prepare sermons. You should do the same during your devotions. John Piper is right when he says that “Apart from prayer, all our scurrying about, all our talking, all our study amounts to ‘nothing.’”[1]

After prayer it’s always a good idea to meditate on the text. Just mull it over in your mind for a while. Since in this case we are comparing four translations of one verse, we should read back over them again and again and try each one on to see how it fits. The HCSB says “no foul language.” Does that sound biblical? Does it sound Christian? You know whether or not you use cuss words. Do you think God approves? Think about when you or others use them. Do those words build others up? Do they help give grace to others?

Now do the same with the ESV. It says “no corrupting talk.” I suggested that corrupting talk sounds like talk that leads others astray, especially into immoral and ungodly behavior. Put your speech through that grid. Do you ever say things that lead others to think or act in ways that don’t bring honor and glory to God? This might include telling dirty jokes or passing along information that gets people angry. Or it could include running another person down which provokes that person to anger or depression.

Moving on to the NASB, recall that it says “no unwholesome word.” Are your words always wholesome, God-honoring, and encouraging to others? Or do you sometimes tear others down with your words? Do you sometimes say things that paint another person in a bad light? Are you cutting and biting with your speech?

And fourthly, the NLT says “don’t use foul or abusive language.” Here it is appropriate to reflect on whether you ever do positive harm to another person with your words. Very likely you would use this language on your spouse and children before you would on others. It’s tragic that we often treat with the least respect the people we love the most. Family members often unleash their most poisonous venom on one another.

So I think you can see that all these translations are really getting at the point Paul wants us to get, namely, that we need to be extra careful how we speak to one another. And we figured that out without knowing any Greek!

But if you would like a little insight from the Greek, I can give it to you. I believe that by doing that I can help you to go from black and white to color in your understanding of what Paul is saying. 

Let’s start with a strictly literal translation of the first part of this verse. When reading Greek this is what you do first. Then you reorder it so that it makes sense in English. The first part of the verse literally translated would be this: “All word bad out of mouth your not go out.” Of course that doesn’t make sense in English, so you try to smooth it out: “All bad word out of your mouth not go out.” That’s a little better, but it still doesn’t quite sound like English. So you take another go at it: “Let no bad word come out of your mouth.” That’s understandable English, so that would be a good translation of the first part of the verse. Clearly this verse commands us to avoid a certain manner of speech and instead calls for encouraging words that build others up.

But is “bad” the best way to render the term Paul uses here? We have already looked at four other ways to translate it. Can the Greek give us any further insight? I think it will help us somewhat. To get at the answer we want to first look at the possible meanings the Greek word can have. Just as with English words, in most cases Greek words have different possible meanings and the challenge comes in deciding which one best fits the context of the verse. To find the range of meanings we look up the word in a Greek dictionary, which is called a lexicon. The most widely respected one is called A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament and other Early Christian Literature. There we learn that the Greek term we are interested in, sapros, can refer to something that is spoiled or rotten, as in the case of spoiled fish or rotten fruits. Obviously words that come out of your mouth can’t literally be spoiled like fish or rotten like fruit, therefore the lexicon offers a figurative explanation of the term as well, which is “bad or unwholesome to the extent of being harmful, bad, evil, unwholesome.” Now we are beginning to get somewhere. We know from our own experience how words can be bad, evil, and unwholesome. But even more, we can easily think of words as being offensive like spoiled fish or rotten fruits.

If we want to take it a step further we can go to a Greek concordance, a book that lists all the places a particular word is used in the Bible to see where else in the Bible the word is used. When we do that with sapros we find that it is used in only 7 other places. The first thing we want to see is if Paul used it elsewhere. We find that he didn’t use it anywhere else in any of his writings, but we do find that Matthew used it 5 times (Mt 7:17, 18; 12:33 twice; 13:48) and Luke twice (both in Lk 6:43). Luke’s two uses each refer to a bad tree that can only yield bad fruit, not good fruit. Matthew says the same thing in Mt 7:17-18 and in 12:33. In Mt 13:48 he uses the word to refer to bad fish that must be thrown away.

Now we have essentially all the information the translators have when they decide how to translate this word. We can go to commentaries for a little more help but we don’t really have to. We have the essentials.

So armed with our information we find that the vivid imagery of spoiled fish and rotten fruits is perhaps most helpful. Think of how you react when you smell spoiled fish or rotten fruit. What does it make you want to do? Cover your nose? Throw up? Get away from it ASAP? In short, it’s revolting, isn’t it? Therefore, I think Paul’s idea is that our speech should not drive people away; it shouldn’t be offensive in any way. Instead, it should be pleasing and inviting and winsome. Your speech should be as attractive as a fresh bouquet of flowers on the kitchen table. It should be as pleasant to the senses as the smell of your mother’s freshly baked apple pie. It certainly should not repulse people the way rotten fruit or spoiled fish repulse.

And all of this matters to you precisely because your witness for Christ is at stake. What comes out of your mouth reflects what is in your heart. If Christ is in your heart he needs to dominate your heart.

You can’t just decide to clean up your speech. You have to get to the root of the problem, which is deep down in your heart. When you use profanity, corrupting talk, unwholesome and abusive words, it isn’t because you have a tongue problem. It’s because you have a heart problem. It has been said many times but is worth repeating that the heart of the problem is the problem of the heart. Whenever your heart isn’t right, it doesn’t take long before the problem reveals itself through your speech. So ask the Lord to help you have a tongue that builds up rather than tears down and offends.